Driving back into Abilene one day, staring out the window at the sunlit scenery, I found myself wishing it'd never have to change. The safety within the boundaries of the town I've come to call my home, it feels like it'd be wrong to take it away. Even within Abilene though, things change. No matter how much we may want them to, they will.
I find myself tearing apart from the old person I used to be upon entering high school, and the one I'm becoming. Am I adapting to my new friends, or trying to hang on to my old? Am I living in the past, or attempting to embrace the future? I run these questions in my head over and over. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning wondering what day it is, and whether the last few years have been a dream.
I've come to realize, things don't usually go my way. They may have been pretty good lately, but I'm still waiting for the day when it all comes crashing down. I guess I've come to expect it. What can I rely on? Everything is unpredictable, ever-changing, ruthless and heartless.
Everyone changes. It's useless to deny that it happens, even to the most stubborn of us. Friends turn, enemies get closer. Things that once were, aren't, and things that weren't are. A whirl of activity encircles our lives, and intertwines us all into one set of destinies. The things we do, they're like pebbles thrown into a lake: ripples echo out from the source, touching every inch of water in their path. So we are, we touch others with the things we do. What exactly is it we do that will touch others? It becomes impossible to know, for the results are always different.
Only time will tell.
(Written 9/21/08)
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